SINCE the government decided to relocate to Dodoma, I am happy to inform you that another group also decided to follow suit, and this group is none other than the black crow.
If you are one of those people who have been told by your boss that you are going to move your belongings to Dodoma to join other government officials, then do not for a minute think that you are going to leave the irritating birds behind, you will find them waiting for you.
As I am writing this, I am fuming like an enraged Buddha, because one of these creatures has just made away with a juicy chicken drum stick that was lying comfortably on my plate waiting to be consumed.
And, so that you can be well prepared, I have to inform you that the Dodoma black crows are more aggressive than their Dar es Salaam counterparts, because as I am mourning my disappeared piece of chicken, there is another fellow who lost his car keys.
True story, I watched as one crow took advantage of the guy who went for a short call and left his car keys on the table, the stupid bird landed on the table, and finding nothing of interest, decided to take possession of the keys, alarm and office keys were lifted off. If it was possible to communicate with the annoying birds, then I am sure the fellow would have gone down on his knees and begged the bird to return the keys, even for a price.
But that was not possible, and by the time I left the place, the enraged chap was thinking of how he was going to move the car from that spot, because unfortunately it was one of those cars which are 100 percent electronic.
I have been here in Dodoma for more than a week now, and I can say that with the rains wreaking havoc in Dar es Salaam, I am in no hurry to return, black crows and all.
You see, during Parliament sessions, Dodoma becomes an interesting place, with people from all corners of life, which includes the twilight girls who traverse the length of Tanzania to come and give our ‘Waheshimiwa’ some hard earned company.
The weather is wonderful, I must report to you, because since I came here the only time it rained was once, and it was a poor excuse of rain, because it hardly took ten minutes.
The chunk of chicken which was whisked away by the courageous bird belonged to a species of birds we fondly call ‘Kuku wakienyeji’, and I have to tell you that these species are in good supply here in Dodoma, so it came as no surprise when I discovered that I have added four kilograms to the previous 110 kilograms, and I am sure the mother of my clan will be on my case when I return home… “Umenenepa sana!” I can hear her berating me.
Although I have a very tiny standing in the political arena, it will not stop me from advising the government to do something about the increasing number of beggars, because they are many! Beggars in Dodoma come in different shapes and sizes, from old, blind women led by shabby looking children to healthy looking fellows who think that to get an easy buck they just have to stretch their hands and beg.
Sitting in an open space bar, you will be approached by almost ten beggars before you decide to leave, and some of them might come to your table twice or thrice before they realize they have already paid you a visit.
Another group which I found irritating includes a group of healthy looking young girls and boys, who will approach your table clutching dirty exercise books, and they will go on to tell you that they need your contribution for one thing or another.
“Excuse me sir, I am a member of Twende Mbinguni Choir, and we are supposed to travel to Kigali for a performance, can you please assist us with anything that you have?” a pretty girl in her early 20s told me as I did justice to a juicy goat rib in one of the popular joints in Dodoma. I was about to tell her to get lost but decided against it, and instead I took crumpled 1,000/- and gave it to her.
A few minutes later, a young man was standing in front of me, clutching another dirty exercise book, and told me that he is the goalkeeper of Hapa Kazi Tu FC, and that they will be hosting Shinyanga Rangers so I should be a sport and assist in any way….
I have to be honest, I chased him away. If you are in Dodoma, you have to make sure you visit the meat market popularly called ‘Mnadani’, where you can eat meat until your stomach creaks, but it is at this place where you will meet another group of beggars.
This group varies from old men and women to young children, who will place a box under your table and politely tell you to place all the bones and undesired meat in it, and which they will come to collect as soon as you are done eating. With the chilly evening weather, Dodoma has several joints of entertainment, and if you are fans of live bands, then ask any local and they will tell you where to go.
A few days ago I went to a certain joint where a local band was playing, I must say that these guys are talented, because I shook my body to oldies, ranging from the great Franco to Msondo Ngoma, honestly when it comes to copyrights, these fellows are good.
Seating at my table to catch my breath after showing the audience how ‘Ndombolo’ was danced then, I noticed one ‘Mheshimiwa’ (my lips are zipped!) trying to be cozy with a woman who has obviously used lightening cream to the maximum.
“That woman is someone’s wife, I know the husband, they are my neighbors in Area C, she has a one year old baby!” whispered a woman seated at the next table….. talk about volunteered information!